Ode to the Jersey Shore Store Whore #1, A Shakespearean Sonnet

Sookie

Shall I compare thee to a summer shore?
Thou are more bawdy and more desperate:
Tits ballooned and emblazoned-guidette d’or,
You slur, slump, sink and scintillate.
Sometimes too dim the cheese ball of heaven shines
And of’t the Jagershot fistpump wanes,
And every Jacuzzi hookup becomes labrynthine
In the stale morning Walgreens lane.
But thy eternal sun damage shall not fade
Nor thine pejorative presence mend,
And every disrespect will end in a tirade
And your conquests litter clubs like fag ends.
“Tell your eyes to stop staring at my tits,”
Your beauty, like Jersey, class prohibits.

By Sarah-Jane Parker aka Spookie