Ode to the Jersey Shore Store Whore #1, A Shakespearean Sonnet

Shall I compare thee to a summer shore? Thou are more bawdy and more desperate: Tits ballooned and emblazoned-guidette d’or, You slur, slump, sink and scintillate. Sometimes too dim the cheese ball of heaven shines And of’t the Jagershot fistpump wanes, And every Jacuzzi hookup becomes labrynthine In the stale morning Walgreens lane. But thy [...]