<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>The New Morning Post</title>
	<atom:link href="http://newmorningpost.com/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://newmorningpost.com</link>
	<description>Insight &#38; Inquiry</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 02 Feb 2011 23:08:10 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4</generator>
		<item>
		<title>Letters to the Mayor of Bonerville &#8211; Part III</title>
		<link>http://newmorningpost.com/sex/letters-to-the-mayor-of-bonerville-part-iii/</link>
		<comments>http://newmorningpost.com/sex/letters-to-the-mayor-of-bonerville-part-iii/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Feb 2011 23:04:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Adam Montgomery Lampert</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newmorningpost.com/?p=684</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear Madam - Your silence at my numerous attempts to persuade you of my liberation speaks quite loudly indeed. At this juncture I am left with no choice but to conclude that you have no intention whatsoever to release me from Bonerville&#8217;s throbbing stranglehold. As my previous efforts to wheedle you into persuasion have failed, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newmorningpost.com/sex/letters-to-the-mayor-of-bonerville-part-iii/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Letters to the Mayor of Bonerville &#8211; Part II</title>
		<link>http://newmorningpost.com/sex/letters-to-the-mayor-of-bonerville-part-ii/</link>
		<comments>http://newmorningpost.com/sex/letters-to-the-mayor-of-bonerville-part-ii/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Feb 2011 23:02:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Adam Montgomery Lampert</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newmorningpost.com/?p=681</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear Madam, As mayor of Bonerville, your schedule must surely be one of the heaviest engagement. Keeping Bonerville&#8217;s streets clean, children healthy, and erections maintained for all of the city&#8217;s faithful citizens is a duty unenvied by all reasonable persons. And so I want to make it clear that I come to you not as [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newmorningpost.com/sex/letters-to-the-mayor-of-bonerville-part-ii/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Letters to the Mayor of Bonerville &#8211; Part I</title>
		<link>http://newmorningpost.com/sex/letters-to-the-mayor-of-bonerville-part-i/</link>
		<comments>http://newmorningpost.com/sex/letters-to-the-mayor-of-bonerville-part-i/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Feb 2011 23:00:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Adam Montgomery Lampert</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newmorningpost.com/?p=677</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear Ms. Leckey, I needn&#8217;t tell you how greatly I have enjoyed my stay here in Bonerville this past weekend. The sights, sounds, and sensations that I have experienced will forever be held as treasured memories within a special place in my heart. But you see, I&#8217;m afraid I really must be leaving your wonderful [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newmorningpost.com/sex/letters-to-the-mayor-of-bonerville-part-i/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Fuck You, Maine</title>
		<link>http://newmorningpost.com/goodhumor/fuck-you-maine/</link>
		<comments>http://newmorningpost.com/goodhumor/fuck-you-maine/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Aug 2010 20:56:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>trepmalmada</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA['merica]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lobsters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Maine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mexico]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Slim Jims]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newmorningpost.com/?p=661</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Thanks to the magic of Google Analytics, our editorial staff can easily see who is reading The New Morning Post, and where they come from. We can also see who isn&#8217;t reading the magazine, which has led me to a disappointing but critical conclusion: Maine is full of chowderhead fishfuckers who would rather stuff their [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newmorningpost.com/goodhumor/fuck-you-maine/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>To The Next Great American Athlete: The Top Ten Reasons You Should Play Soccer Instead of Football/Basketball/Baseball</title>
		<link>http://newmorningpost.com/newsandpolitics/to-the-next-great-american-athlete-the-top-ten-reasons-you-should-play-soccer-instead-of-footballbasketballbaseball/</link>
		<comments>http://newmorningpost.com/newsandpolitics/to-the-next-great-american-athlete-the-top-ten-reasons-you-should-play-soccer-instead-of-footballbasketballbaseball/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 15 Jul 2010 02:31:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Adam Montgomery Lampert</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News & Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sport]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newmorningpost.com/?p=543</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This is a letter to all the young American athletes out there destined for greatness. To all the future Michael Jordans, LeBron Jameses, Peyton Mannings, Bo Jacksons, Kobe Bryants, and Jerry Rices, I beseech you: consider soccer. There is more money, more fame, less risk, fewer injuries, and more glory in it than any other [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newmorningpost.com/newsandpolitics/to-the-next-great-american-athlete-the-top-ten-reasons-you-should-play-soccer-instead-of-footballbasketballbaseball/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>32</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>AT&amp;T Throws in the AT&amp;Towel</title>
		<link>http://newmorningpost.com/bt/att-throws-in-the-attowel/</link>
		<comments>http://newmorningpost.com/bt/att-throws-in-the-attowel/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 02 May 2010 04:13:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David McJivvers</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Business & Tech]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Digressions Of An Advertising Man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Advertising]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[AT&T]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Luke Wilson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Verizon]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newmorningpost.com/?p=515</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you've turned on a television in the past six months, you've probably borne witness to the multi-million dollar bare-knuckle brawl between Verizon and AT&#038;T. Now, at long last, we seem to have a winner, with AT&#038;T announcing that they will drop their attack ads in favor of a rebranding campaign under the banner of "Rethink Possible."]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newmorningpost.com/bt/att-throws-in-the-attowel/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Fuck You, Maine</title>
		<link>http://newmorningpost.com/goodhumor/fuck-you-maine-2/</link>
		<comments>http://newmorningpost.com/goodhumor/fuck-you-maine-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Apr 2010 21:50:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Adam Montgomery Lampert</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newmorningpost.com/?p=638</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Thanks to the magic of Google Analytics, our editorial staff can easily see who is reading The New Morning Post, and where they come from. We can also see who isn&#8217;t reading the magazine, which has led me to a disappointing but critical conclusion: Maine is full of chowderhead fishfuckers who would rather stuff their [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newmorningpost.com/goodhumor/fuck-you-maine-2/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Case Against Canada</title>
		<link>http://newmorningpost.com/newsandpolitics/the-case-against-canada/</link>
		<comments>http://newmorningpost.com/newsandpolitics/the-case-against-canada/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Mar 2010 23:26:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Adam Montgomery Lampert</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News & Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sport]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Canada]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[IOC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Luge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Olympics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newmorningpost.com/?p=466</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s not easy to make a case for pressing charges against an organization like the International Olympic Committee, or a human-rights-friendly host country like Canada. But if UNICEF killed a gaggle of Cancun spring-breakers with an errant aerial shipment of Patriots 19-0 t-shirts, we would all be fuming. So why the hell are they getting [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newmorningpost.com/newsandpolitics/the-case-against-canada/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Olympics Take Gold in Unexpected Category</title>
		<link>http://newmorningpost.com/bt/olympics-take-gold-in-unexpected-category/</link>
		<comments>http://newmorningpost.com/bt/olympics-take-gold-in-unexpected-category/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Feb 2010 19:38:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>David McJivvers</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Business & Tech]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Digressions Of An Advertising Man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Advertising]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Coca Cola]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Doritos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emerald Nuts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GoDaddy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Olympics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[P&G]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pop Secret]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Procter and Gamble]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Super Bowl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Yotvata]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newmorningpost.com/?p=434</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A funny thing happened on the way to the opening ceremony of the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympic Games. It became readily, painfully, thankfully apparent that the commercials at the Olympics would best their Super Bowl counterparts. Let&#8217;s take a look at some of the work from the Super Bowl, starting with a joint commercial for [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newmorningpost.com/bt/olympics-take-gold-in-unexpected-category/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Video Games Are Gad For You</title>
		<link>http://newmorningpost.com/goodhumor/video-games-are-gad-for-you/</link>
		<comments>http://newmorningpost.com/goodhumor/video-games-are-gad-for-you/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 15 Feb 2010 18:53:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Adam Montgomery Lampert</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Good Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grand Theft Auto]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Joe Montana]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Masturbation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sega Genesis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sexual Harassment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Speedball]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Toys 'R Us]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Video Games]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newmorningpost.com/?p=116</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sometimes, I like to play video games. In fact, I sometimes like to play them a lot. I can tell if I have played too many hours in a single day because people say things to me like, &#8220;Hey, why are your eyes so bloodshot?&#8221; or &#8220;Aren&#8217;t you going to wipe that dried blood off [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://newmorningpost.com/goodhumor/video-games-are-gad-for-you/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>

